Fallen angels
by Misura
Summary: Schuldich contemplates the two persons he loves most in this world and they do the same. [SchuldichNagiOmi]
1. Angel of midnight

Fallen angels

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Angel of midnight

Warnings/notes : Schuldich/Nagi/Omi, Schuldich pov

Disclaimer : I don't own Weiss Kreuz. The song 'Fallen angels' belongs to Aerosmith.

written at 7th july 2003, by Misura

Chapter note : this is mainly Schuldich/Nagi

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//There's a candle burning 

In the world tonight//

I love to watch you while you sleep. At first, you often frowned, when bad dreams came to haunt you, but recently they have stayed away.

Because of me, or so I'd like to think.

I'm a telepath after all ; I ought to be able to manipulate your dreams, make them more pleasant.

I want to be able to say I used my gift at least once for something good. It gets tiresome after a while, you know, the killing and the torturing and the mind-twisting.

I don't like the intimacy I have to experience with my victims.

Every kill leaves me feeling dirty.

I can't touch you when I'm like that, can't brush the hair out of your face like I do now.

//For another child 

Who vanished out of sight//

You are smiling ; I suppose you're having a nice dream.

I'm tempted to allow myself a taste of it, to dip into your mind. I taught you how to shield, which means I also know how to get through.

But no, I feel sinful enough already tonight.

You're like a child, except that you're not.

That didn't make much sense, did it?

//And a heart is broken

Another prayer in vain//

Nagi's not a child, an innocent anymore. At times I wonder if you've ever been.

You must have had a family once ; did they care about you? Or did they hate you, is that why you ended up on the streets?

You don't have any memories of them. A blessing or a curse?

On the streets, no one can stay innocent and alive very long. It's the one or the other ; survive by being guilty or die pure.

If Crawford had picked you up sooner, would you be different?

Only the Oracle knows, and he keeps silent about this as about everything.

//There's a million tears 

That'll fill a sea of pain//

Should I be grateful to him for saving you before you were lost completely, or should I hate him for waiting until your mind was suitable to become one of us, one of Schwarz?

He can be ruthless like that, heartless.

You were a lot like him once though ; perhaps I judge him too harshly.

You told me you loved me, and I swore I would never betray the trust you placed in me by telling me those three precious words.

I love you too.

//Sometimes I stare out my window

My thoughts all drift into space//

When I hold you like this, you feel so light and vulnerable, like a porcelain doll I could break with a mere touch. It scares me.

You claim it's an illusion, that I'm imagining things.

And then you laugh, and I hear the child in your voice. And I'm not so sure anymore.

Your forehead feels soft and cool to my lips as I kiss it.

"Hmmm, Schuldich?" You blink sleepily.

"No, I'm Farfarello. Geez, of course it's me." I roll my eyes.

__

//Sometimes I wonder if there's a better place

Tell me//

You look cute when you're a little mad at me.

Because there's always a hint of laughter in your midnight eyes, to show me I can make it up to you again with a kiss or a word.

"Just checking." You mumble, nestling yourself against my chest.

Funny ; you probably do that to feel at ease and comfortable, but in fact I'm the one who experiences those things most keenly when you do it.

"My angel of midnight." I murmur, wishing your face was a bit higher so that I could kiss you good morning more properly.

//Where do fallen angels go?

I just don't know (I just don't know)//

As if you've read my mind, you raise your head to gaze up at me. 

"Why are you calling me that?"

__

: It's how I see you. : Quite useful ; the ability to talk and kiss at the same time, even if it does give me concetration-problems at times.

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: How come? : Even more useful ; the ability to share your ability with others.

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: Your eyes. Your soul. : I'm focusing on the feeling of your lips against mine now, so sweet and soft. Soon, if we keep this up, I won't be able to mind-talk at all.

__

: My eyes ... midnight blue, I can understand that. But my soul? I'm not a saint, Schu. :

: And I'm glad of it too. : Not to be able to touch you would be Hell to me.

//Where do fallen angels go?

They keep falling (They keep falling)//

: If I'm an angel, you're one too. : Your wandering hands command me not to argue this point.

So I don't.

Even if a detached part of my mind considers your remark, while the main part focuses on you, the feel of your naked skin against mine, the way your breath catches when I touch you ...

Am I like you? Was I ever?

And if I am, what about the others?

Are all of us angels, fallen from the heavens of innocence to wander in the world below?

It's a nice, depressive thought.

I like it, even if Farfarello probably wouldn't thank you for suggesting it.

~tbc~


	2. Angel of daylight

Fallen angels

_Angel of daylight_

Warnings/notes : Schuldich/Nagi/Omi, Omi pov

Disclaimer : I don't own Weiss Kreuz. The song 'Fallen angels' belongs to Aerosmith.

written at 9th july 2003, by Misura

Thanks to Shaynie (well, I intended there to be three chapters, each from a different pov ^^; seems you've read my mind!), TigerZahn (thank you! I did …), Ryuusei Houkou, The Wanderer (*blushes* Thank you!), Yanagi-sen (thank you! I will try for three chapters), Craw/Brad (I like writing songfics, actually. Glad you liked reading this one too!) and Silver Flame (Omi pops up in this chapter ^^; thank you very much!). 

Chapter note : This chapter is mainly Schuldich/Omi. both rather ooc.

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_//Well, the times are frightening_

_Can't ignore the facts//_

It's not enough anymore.

It's not enough to be Omittchi, the cute kid who's smiling all the time.

Not enough to be Bombay, trying to make a difference.

I feel like I'm trapped in those two roles, while my true self is slowly dying somewhere.

The others don't see it, perhaps they don't want to.

Given the choice, I'm sure they'd prefer my masks to the real me.

They want someone to cheer *them* up, not someone *they* have to cheer up.

Am I selfish in wanting to be me?

I feel so guilty sometimes, about not living up to their expectations and hopes.

About deceiving them.

_//There's so many people_

_Just slipping through the cracks//_

_: Sounds like a certain kitten is in need of some sugar and spice. :_

It's so easy with him you know.

All I have to do is release control and enjoy the ride.

He'll take care of everything.

Nagi's a little different ; with Nagi I am still fully aware of myself.

It's nicer that way sometimes.

We can relate to eachother more too ; both school-going teenagers who like to mess around with computers nearly as much as with eachother.

Oh yes, and there's our 'other job' too of course.

_//So many ashes are scattered_

_So many rivers run dry//_

"Schuldich." I manage a smile.

He frowns. He doesn't like people faking. Says it disrupts his senses to have people do one thing and think the other.

I bet his senses get disrupted a lot.

_: Nice to see you again too, Omi. :_

I grin a real grin. It's fun to tease Schuldich, because he enjoys it. He teases me right back of course, only it feels good. He treats me like an equal. Not like You-know-who.

_: Anywhere except the bed and the dancefloor. :_

"Just you wait, Schuldich." I growl.

I'm starting to feel better already.

_//Sometimes your Heaven is Hell _

_And you don't know why//_

He snorts, switching over to normal speech. As far as anything about him can be 'normal' anyway. "Kittens aren't supposed to growl, Omi."

"Yes, Schuldich-sensei. How's Nagi-kun, by the way?"

"He sends his love and a thousand kisses." He winks. "He was very sorry he couldn't come too."

I giggle. "A thousand? We'd better get started soon then if you're supposed to give them all to me in person."

He snorts. "I'll just write them down for you. If Nagi wants to kiss you he can do so himself."

"Awwww." I give him a 'drowned kitten'-look.

"They're really bothering you, aren't they?" he sighs.

I don't feel like talking right now, though it seems he does. Tough luck.

His lips are willing enough to indulge in something else than speaking.

_: That's because I can use my gift. Come on, angel, tell the nice man what's wrong. :_

_//So, listen//_

_: One, I'm not an angel. Two, I don't see any 'nice men'. I just see you. :_

_: Hmmm, you sure taste heavenly. :_

I hate/love it when he does this, linking our minds so I can feel my own lips on his.

"So, you think I'm not 'nice'?" he murmurs, pulling his head away slightly.

"You aren't." I reply. "You're nasty and mean."

"Flattery won't get you anywhere."

"I know." I press my body up against his. "But what about insults?"

"Those might work." he admits. I can see something's bothering him.

But I'm here for me, not for him. If he doesn't volunteer what his problems are, I won't ask about them. Things are easier between us that way, less complicated.

"Take me away from here, Schuldich." It's an order and he knows it.

_//Where do fallen angels go?_

_I just don't know (I just don't know)//_

"So eager to have me blow your mind." There's a hint of sadness to his voice.

Like he's grieving about something. Or someone.

"Did someone die?" The question flaps out.

Even his smile is sad. I don't like this at all. I'm almost tempted to throw myself at him, sealing his lips with mine so that I won't have to hear his answer.

"No. And yes. It doesn't matter."

Good. If he says so, fine with me.

"You know what Nagi suggested the other night?"

No. And unless it has something to do with you and me having sex right here and now, I'm not really interested either.

"What?" I ask warily. Take a hint, Schuldich. I have enough matters on my mind as it is. I don't want to have you add your problems to my burden. Too many people (well, three actually) do that already.

_//Where do fallen angels go?_

_They keep falling (They keep falling)//_

"That all of us are angels."

This has to be the greatest nonsense I've ever heard. Schuldich probably got Nagi's words wrong.

"Fascinating. Why does that make you depressed?" I glare at him.

"I can see what he means when I look at him. Or at you."

But not when he looks at himself? Is that it?

"If Nagi's right though ... " his voice trails off as he starts to undress me. Finally.

"Yes?" I encourage him. Let's get this over and done with.

"I think we're all fallen."

No words are spoken after that for a while.

I reach my heaven, where everything's perfect and where no worries bother me.

Back on earth again, we both lie panting, staring at the ceiling.

"You're probably right." I reply. Better late than never, ne?

~tbc~


	3. Angel of fire

Fallen angels

_Angel of fire_

Warnings/notes : Schuldich/Nagi/Omi, Nagi pov

Disclaimer : I don't own Weiss Kreuz. The song 'Fallen angels' belongs to Aerosmith.

written at 11th july 2003, by Misura

Thanks to Craw/Brad (uhm, sorry it took a while ^^;), TigerZahn (thank you!!), Yanagi-sen (*coughs* well, not using them, probably ^^; glad to hear you liked it!), Wai-Aki (thank you very much!), Precognition74 (thank you!), Coppelia (I just can't help myself ^^; glad you enjoy it!), Ryuusei Houkou, The Wanderer (thank you!), Silver Flame (sorry I made Omi not as cheerful as usual ^^; this chapter should answer your question about Nagi and Omi) and Kaelina (thank you very much!). 

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_//Falling, falling, falling//_

Melodramatic as it sounds, I think neither me nor Omi would still be alive if it wasn't for the third member of our little tryst. Schuldich.

I don't know what it is about you that yells at me to live and never dare to give up, yet it's there.

We both sense it. Sometimes we love you for it, sometimes we hate you for it.

Because there are moments when we just want to quit.

Let's face it ; no one would really miss either of us.

Our lifes aren't exactly pleasant either, most likely they'll be short too.

Do you know what it's like to have Death as your constant companion?

To hear about casualties on the radio and know it's your doing?

We do. It's living hell, because we know we'll do it again. And again. 

Until the day we die in some back-alley, anonymous, unlamented. Except by *you*.

_//Can you hear me?_

_Can you hear me?//_

Funny, how you tend to say you're in this for the sex only.

Who do you think you're fooling?

Omi was a virgin when you got to him, and I was as shy as one.

Does that sound like the kind of people someone would pick for a good fuck?

For someone who claims to hate deception, Schuldich, you sure lie a lot. 

I wonder how you can take it.

How you can stand *us*, with all our troubles and masks.

Is this what love is?

Being chained to life because of a single person?

_//Somewhere out there _

_There's a shining light//_

Don't get me wrong ; I like Omi a lot. Only he's not enough.

He's too much like myself, I suppose.

Fun to talk to, to relate to, to make homework with.

He could have been a friend, had we been more normal.

I've never been that ; in a way I suppose I have my oh-so useful 'gift' to make up for the way most people treat me.

But Omi ... he could have been. If only his father hadn't been such a cold bastard.

His death would be one of the few I'd like to participate in.

Angel of Midnight ... that's what you called me. Guess it's better than Nagikins.

I suppose that makes Omi the angel of Daylight, with his sunspun hair and clear-blue eyes.

And Schuldich? I think fire suits you very well.

_//And I got to be with you tonight//_

You're the flame that keeps ours alive.

You're the spark that enflames our senses.

You run through our lifes like wildfire, never taking 'no' for an answer, never giving up on us.

We love you for it, even when we curse you because of it.

It's almost as if you're on fire sometimes, too alive to be possible.

If this world is a grey one, with bits of black and white, you're the red.

Out of the ordinary. Excitingly dangerous.

Yet safe at the same time.

You'd never hurt either of us, unless it would be to protect us from ourselves.

_//And with all we're nowhere_

_We still pay the price//_

Because it would hurt us more than anything to lose you.

And death would mean exactly that. Nothing more, nothing less.

If you go, we'll go too, but until that day we'll hold on.

You want us to live for ourselves, I know. Only it's hard. Too hard.

There are too many people trying to mold us.

Even you do it, unwillingly, trying to shape us like you think we were meant to be.

That's another thing that makes you different from us.

Your dreams.

They are impossible, each and every one of them. You don't care.

They're yours and you keep them, sharing them with us on occasion.

_//Yeah the Devil seems to get his way_

_In downtown paradise//_

"You look distracted tonight." You remark. "What's keeping you awake?"

I shrug. "The usual."

You sigh. "At least I got one of you properly asleep." You gesture at Omi.

"Is that why you're here, to get us to sleep?" That would be a new excuse.

Not that I care. I'm used to lies, and yours are sweeter than most.

"No. I'm here to make you relax a bit. You know, to make you work better tomorrow on the mission. That's why Crawford was paying for dinner." You wink.

"Does he know you took Omi as well?" I'm curious.

Crawford always seems to be your opposite. Cold, when you're hot.

"Yes. He didn't mind."

Maybe he's like us. Even if he does seem to have a purpose in life sometimes, some goal he's trying to accomplish.

_//Where do fallen angels go?_

_I just don't know (I just don't know)//_

"I love you." I say, just because I can.

Who knows when the day comes I can't anymore?

It still touches you too, I can see it in your eyes.

You're such a fool. You care too much.

About me, about him. 

I'm not jealous, but I think you'd better limit yourself in your feelings.

"I love you too, Nagi."

The words cut through my soul still.

You make me feel their truth, even if I'd rather not.

_//Where do fallen angels go?_

_They keep falling (They keep falling)//_

Our next kiss is pretty chaste.

It tastes bitter on my lips, because of its sweetness.

I don't understand that. 

I wished I could be more like you want me to be.

I wished I could be more like you.

"Shall I wake Omi?" I propose, disentangling myself for a moment.

"He looks so cute when he sleeps." 

I snort and poke Omi.

There are times when you're simply so sentimental it's impractical.

I'm pretty sure Omi would want me to wake him.

"You're heartless, Nagi." You're teasing me. Maybe you're more right than you think.

_//There's a candle burning_

_La, la, la...// _

~OWARI~

Author's note : This was weird. At least, *I* think so. But I enjoyed writing it and hope you enjoyed reading it as well.


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